Midnight Visitor
by AWildeRomantic
Summary: oneshot. Lily's not dead and she shows up at Remus Lupin's door in the middle of the night. They reflect on what happened, and their feelings for one another. LilyRemus. Pre HBP. No flames, please.


Lupin sat alone in his living room. A fire glowed softly in the fireplace, sending flickering shadows across the room. Despite the heavy rain, Lupin felt quite cozy. He let out a long sigh. The past week had been a blur. The appearance of Voldemort in the ministry had sent everyone into a frenzy. Fear seemed the most prominent feeling now. Except at Grimmauld place it seemed.

Lupin had returned there, to meet with the rest of the order. But it had held an empty feeling, now that Sirius was gone. Lupin covered his face with his hands. Sirius... all he'd been able to think about was his friend. Sirius falling through the veil. And Harry's cries. How horrible it must be to have lost first your parents, then the closest thing to a father you'd ever known! He shook his head, unable to rid his mind of the sad look on Harry's face.

A tapping noise at the window interrupted his thoughts. A small owl sat on the window sill, a letter clutched in it's beak. Lupin rose and swung the window open. The owl dropped the letter inside, then took off into the storm. After closing the window, Lupin picked up the letter, and read it.

I'm coming.

That was it. Except beneath the words was a small drawing of a flower. Lupin's heart began to thud, he knew that handwriting, he knew that signature.

But that's impossible! He whispered to himself, examining the envelope, looking for a return address. But the envelope was blank. __

I'm coming  
  
It could only mean one thing, yet Lupin hardly dared to think...

There was a sharp knock at the door. Heart pounding Lupin rushed forward and threw the door open.

A woman stood on the door step, her long red hair plastered to her head by the rain, her green eyes brightening as she saw Lupin.

Lupin cried, throwing his arms around her. He noticed she felt extremely thin, and frail. He guided her in, shutting the door behind her, then led her to the couch.

Where have you been? Lupin said sitting next to her. How...I thought you were dead! Lily smiled at him, and took several deep breaths before speaking.

That's what everybody thought. She said, sitting back and closing her eyes. Voldemort didn't, or couldn't, kill me. I don't remember what happened really. I just remember waking up in this cell with about five other people. I later found out it was the death eaters headquarters. I was there for the past sixteen years, I only just escaped. How is everybody? I've heard everything about what Harry's done at school, but how's everyone else? Dumbledore? Sirius? She looked expectantly at Lupin.  
Sirius is dead. Lupin said quietly. Lily let out a soft gasp.

She suddenly began to cough violently. Lupin conjured a cup of water and handed it to her. Lily drank it and smiled.

She said, yawning.

Do you want to get some sleep? Lupin asked, gazing at her with a look of concern. I have a guest room. Lily nodded.

Yes, that would be good. She said. Lupin helped her up and showed her to the guest room.

---------------------------------------------------

The next morning Lupin rose early, as usual he'd gotten very little sleep. So at the crack of dawn he went into the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast. Lily came down a little while later. She had brushed her hair out and was wearing a tshirt and jeans Lupin assumed had been in the closet. But her lovely face had the gaunt look of someone who had witnessed many horrors, it reminded Lupin of the way Sirius had looked when he'd gotten out of Azkaban.

Did you sleep well? He asked, setting two plates of food on the table.

Lily said, sitting down.

Do you want to tell me what happened? Lupin asked, sitting down next to her. Lily prodded her scrambled eggs with her fork, and was silent then for a while.

There's not much to tell. She said. It was horrible. I saw people tortured to the point of death. It'll haunt me forever. She then looked at Lupin with a pleading look in her emerald green eyes. You must help me Remus! All through my time there it wasn't the pain that the death eaters inflicted that nearly drove me mad, it was the sense of loneliness. I had no one to love, no one to hold close when I felt sad. I just need someone to care about me, to help me forget what happened. She looked at Lupin then blushed, turning away.

Lupin asked, smiling and turning Lily's face back towards him. She shook her head.

She muttered. I'll wash the dishes.

They spent the whole day talking. Lupin telling Lily about everything that had gone on. Lily eventually did tell Lupin about what had happened to her. He found himself amazed at the things Lily had gotten through, not to mention the horror of seeing her husband killed.

Later that night they sat in the living room, Lily on the couch and Lupin kneeling in front of her.

I feel so horrible. She said, sighing. It shouldn't have been James that died. I should have. Lupin took her hand in his.

Lily, look at me. He said. Lily turned reluctantly and met his eyes. It. Wasn't. Your. Fault. You can't blame yourself for this. Lily sighed. For a moment she felt lost in Remus's gaze. He'd always been there for her. Strong, faithful Remus. Always there when James couldn't be.

She said quietly. Lupin flushed, but held her gaze, staring determinedly into those green eyes. Lily gently raised her hand, brushing her slender fingers against Lupin's cheek. Lupin slowly rose and sat on the couch next to Lily, they looked at each other for a long moment.

Lupin leaned forward, wanting with all his heart, but afraid Lily would resist. Then he gently pressed his lips against hers, and felt her respond, putting her arms around his neck. The kiss grew long and deep, and when they parted they held each other tightly. Suddenly Lupin thrust Lily away from him.

She asked quietly.

No, lily this isn't right! He said choking slightly. You're my best friend's widow. I... Harry doesn't even know you're alive! This just isn't right. Lily looked hurt.

I think James would have wanted you to be with me. She said quietly. Lily turned her head and looked at Lupin, who was staring into the flames, resolutely not meeting her gaze. But if you don't want to, fine. She stood up and marched upstairs to the guest room.

In her room, Lily flung herself down on the bed and buried her face in the pillow. Ever since she'd first met him, she'd harbored this secret love for Remus Lupin. Even when she'd been in love with James, enough to marry him and bear his child, Remus had always been there, lurking in the back of her heart. She thought , or assumed, he'd feel the same way. Tonight just confused things.

She let out a short sob. She'd suffered so much, so much pain and horror beyond reason. Now all she wanted was for someone to hold her, kiss her, make love to her and tell her everything was going to be fine. She wanted that person to be Remus. She wanted that so badly.

Lupin crept silently up the stairs and looked into Lily's room. She was laying face down on the bed. He quietly walked over and lay down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. Lily turned to look at him and was about to say something, when he spoke.

Shh. Don't say anything. He whispered, softly kissing her. After a minute, he broke away to trail soft kisses along her perfect jaw line, and down her neck. Lily softly whispered his name,

They sat up, and Lupin took her hands in his.

It's all right, Lily. He said, calmingly. No matter what happens now, I'll be here for you. Forever. I... He paused and gulped. I love you.


End file.
